


My Utmost Desire

by ethanramsey



Category: Choices: The Royal Masquerade (Visual Novel)
Genre: F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:55:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26216005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ethanramsey/pseuds/ethanramsey
Summary: Julia discusses her decision to surrender the crown with Kayden.
Relationships: Crown Shield/Main Character (The Royal Masquerade)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	My Utmost Desire

**Author's Note:**

> this is three things: late, out of the blue, and self-indulgent 🤣 an expansion of that scene in chapter 17 because no way in hell MC would choose not to marry fabian to keep the crown and their LI is just “ok thanks. hey btw fabian could really use a conversation with you.” anyways :)))

“This is all so sudden, but how could I live with myself, knowing that I could have stopped a war?” Fabian Rhys, ever selfless, says, despite the frown still on his face.

“Believe me when I tell you, there is no other way.” Julia continues. And indeed, _think about another way_ is all she has done for hours on end. “If I could keep the crown I earned, I would.”

She bothers not to hide her frown. She wishes she did not need to abdicate the throne, when she and her closest allies have worked so hard for her seat, but alas, this must be the way. If she is to save innocent lives, her people: the very people this all have been for-- she must serve not as queen.

Fabian tilts his head and looks thoughtful for a moment. “Maybe there is.”

“I promise, we have thought through every strategy. Cordonia will only remain united beneath a Rhys.”

“Then a Rhys they will have. Your Majesty, if it’s not too forward of me to suggest… We could marry.”

“Marry?” Julia gapes, and before Kayden could also react, her gaze meets his.

“What are you saying?” Kayden is as surprised as she was, but he is quick to school his features, and Julia could almost hear him chiding himself for forgetting himself.

“Cordonia may need my name, but that is not the same as my leadership. Queen Julia, marry me and take my name as yours.”

Then… Julia may be able to keep the crown, after all? All their hard work will not be in vain?

But… Kayden. She frowns almost imperceptibly as she glances again in his direction. The look of surprise still on her face, she looks at Fabian. “I am flattered but…”

“Please, don’t mistake my intent. This arrangement would have nothing to do with romance.” Fabian gives the Queen a knowing smile. “We would ask nothing of each other. Our relationship would be one born only of politics and a desire for peace. You could keep your crown and your kingdom. I would spend my days painting.”

“Excuse me for a moment?”

Fabian nods and steps away with Flora.

“I don’t know what you’re about to say, but you should know that I will stand behind anything you decide.” Kayden does not even hesitate.

“You would stand behind never marrying me?” Julia could already feel her heart aching.

He just smiles at her and takes her hands.

“I would abide anything, if it meant living in your heart.”

“We would be together, but in secret. Our love could never be known to anyone but our closest allies.” She continues, already dreading the possibility of that future.

Undeterred, he smiles again, confidently, gently massaging her knuckles. “There is no obstacle we could not overcome, if this is what your heart desires.”

Julia is not sure if she loves or hates it that he is so willing to stand by her side unconditionally. She wanted him to convince her to pick him over the crown, not the other way around. Emotions running high, she takes a deep shaky breath, taking a long moment to keep her wits with her.

If there is one important thing she learned through her journey to being queen, it is to always see reason. And that she tries, no matter the pain in her heart.

Looking up at Kayden, she swallows the lump in her throat, nodding a little. “Very well. Then, I believe I have decided.”

At her call, Fabian and Flora return to hear her answer.

“I have decided…” Julia swallows the lump in her throat. She keeps a poker face, but later fails, because soon enough she feels her eyes watering at the thought of not choosing her love for Kayden before anything else.

She takes a deep breath, composing herself, wiping the corner of her eyes with her handkerchief. Julia gives Kayden another glance, pondering how lucky she was to have someone to who will stand by her side through anything she desired. As if she was unaware to the fact, her mind is repeating just how much she deeply loves her Crown Shield. Another deep breath.

“I have decided not to marry Fabian and surrender my crown. I am honored by your willingness to sacrifice that part of your life so that I may continue to rule, but… _I am afraid I am not._ I cannot live that lie. I must follow my heart, even if it leads me beyond the palace.”

Julia refuses to meet Kayden’s eyes again so he would dare not to interject, but she should have known better.

“My queen… you must reconsider--”

“I have decided, Kayden. Fabian will be Cordonia’s King, alone.”

“Are you deciding for the people? For _you?_ There is more to consider aside from… from myself, Your Majesty.”

“Flora, Fabian… we’ll meet you at the carriage.” They curtsy and bow before Julia before again giving the two time to discuss.

Julia frowns as she finally meets Kayden’s gaze. “What happened to standing behind _anything_ I decide?”

“No, because you’re doing this just for me. Think more about this, Julia. The crown…the entire kingdom is yours for the taking. You will rightfully serve the people, noble and common alike. You could continue your legacy for a great number of years, and even pass on the throne to your future children. Do you not want any of that?”

“I do, Kayden, but not without you by my side…”

“I will be--”

Julia shakes her head. “Not like this,” she gives him an earnest look that successfully stops him from interrupting. “It’s you, Kayden. It is you who my heart truly desires. A long, happy life full of love with you. No kingdom or royal legacy is worth more than marriage and a future family with you.”

Kayden takes a long moment to process all that Julia has said, his own eyes starting to shine at his queen’s declaration. She takes it as an invitation to continue.

“I know we have worked hard for me to be crowned queen, and this seems like I am simply throwing everything away. But all this has been is for the people of this kingdom, to make sure they will have a strong but kind and selfless leader who will bring prosperity to Cordonia. Renza and Cyrus are in no position to go after the throne, and Fabian will no doubt be the people’s servant. We have succeeded, Kayden. It’s… it’s time for us to be selfish this time. It’s time for us to focus on us.”

Kayden desperately wants to pull Julia into a passionate kiss, to express his similar feelings through actions instead of his words.

He would pull her waist against him and grab her hair as they kiss more and more urgently. He could probably make love to her here and then, give her the worshipping she deserves, and no magic would be able to barricade his intense love and desire for her.

But regrettably, despite everything his queen said, she is still the Queen. He offers his arm for her, knowing it was presently the only acceptable gesture for the Queen and her Crown Shield.

Julia smiles to herself as she takes his arm, and they start walking back to the carriage. It was rare to get Kayden speechless, especially in a debate of some kind. She will certainly revel in getting the last word.

“Don’t be so smug, my queen. When I’m finally allowed to, next time it will be me who will be professing my intense love for you in public. I will be down on one knee, and you will forget how to utter any word except for ‘yes’.”

“Mm, tell me more, my loyal subject. Perhaps it will happen at a certain royal masquerade?”

“Indeed. But we will no longer be wearing any masks. I’m afraid all I will be able to think about is Midnight Shadow.”

“No more hiding? Perfect. Because all I want is to exclaim how much I love you with all that I am and all that I have, Kayden Vescovi.”

“As I love you, Lady Julia Aster.”


End file.
